So it’s New Year’s Eve and I’ve just finished hanging out the washing. The washing I forgot to hangout earlier this afternoon – #mummyfail #damn! Ah well, it’s up now, so at least I can give myself some points for that. And the kids are in bed, so that’s a bonus. Although my six year old is refusing to actually sleep…she’s counting to 500 as I type. Hmmm…
So here I am, 34, at home on New Years eve with the two kids, while my husband works nightshift. That’s my life. And I’m all good with it. I’ve done my fair share of New Years eves to death…and cant recall most of them (lol) – although I do remember the one or two all nighters in my teens when we stayed up – wasted as hell – climbed Maungakiekie and watched the sun rise at 5am. Wow. Yup, it’s definitely seeing that first day break that stays with you. Forever. Not what you were wearing. Or who you kissed. Or what you drank. That sunrise. If you’re lucky enough to be up for it, is what pierces time and space. Doesn’t leave you, no matter how many years pass, or where you are when you remember that moment in time.
Funnily enough all of this brings back a rare evening, last December when I was out at party. As any parent will tell you, getting out and actually socialising at night with other adults, over a drink, is a big-as deal. So this night was special. I remember having a long conversation with the fabulous @lanalopesi (editor of #500words) that traversed every space imaginable – sex, love, birth, kids, art – it was a brilliant conversation and for the two of us – at that stage still emerging (ahem, recovering / escaping) from a day of being immersed in #toddlerlife it was a relief. But the critical moment was when our equally fabulous friend, Ioana Gordon-Smith pulled us both up, interjected and said – “Excuse me you two mamas, but did you realise that you might just have a teensy-weensy bit of social capital right here that means I – given that I dont have kids – don’t have; which makes it hard to participate in your conversation? Just saying.” Thinking about it now, it was kind of an awkward moment. What Ioana was saying was absolutely true. There was a weird social capital that existed in this space. A social capital that I took for granted. And that came about – at least for me – from the pain and joy of birthing, parenting and surviving life with kids.
And as time has passed, I’ve realised not to take that social capital for granted. And to be grateful for the nights – like this one – when I’m actually not really alone at home with the kids while everyone else is out celebrating. There are heaps us out there at home tonight on New Years eve – for various reasons – just as there are tonnes of us out there partying it up. Regardless of what the characteristics that make up your personal social capital are, happy new year 2017 to you and yours!
Alofa tele atu / Much love ~Leilani